102 - Creeps Actually
its more legit in serif
A few years ago a story broke about a well-loved indie bookstore in Singapore. It was a very pretty store selling slim pretty books with tasteful minimalist covers and wide selection of local writers. It was the closest thing to a dream bookstore for a young artsy girl, so I remember feeling somewhat surprised when I met the owner for the first time and realised he was just a very ordinary, nondescript looking Chinese man. By that time, I had already developed an intuition around some types of men, usually older men who would send friend requests after working on a production, or float the possibility of some part-time gig to keep the conversation going. The messages were always seemingly harmless, peppered with smileys and mundane remarks, so until someone brings him up in conversation (oh that creepy guy, yes he’s always hanging around…), I would be left wondering if my discomfort was displaced. When the story broke that the bookstore guy was actually running a shady business that involved strings of inappropriate workplace relationships I was not surprised, could see how it would have all unfolded, a beautiful dreamy bookstore, a sappy sensitive bookstore owner (but he has a wife!).
I have not met a ‘creepy man’ in a while. I think it’s because I’m older, and not because they don’t exist anymore. Unless you count the time I met a crass dude who said things like ‘I want to dabao you home’ and I genuinely guffawed thinking he was shit talking playing a creepy dude. Sometimes I meet a younger woman and feel like oh my god she’s so guileless, and realise oh my god I used to be just like that too. I remember going on a horrible date with a man because his profile photos had Totoro on it and I assumed that he must be a decent person — oh my god.
Anyway, I have not had a chance to catch my breath since late April but I picked up a book today with the full intention of reading but after a few pages of reading about the shape and shadow of an unavailable boy, I decided I’m looking for something raw and unvarnished, something like the story of meeting a man with Totoro pictures on his profile picture who turns out to be a deeply pathetic loser who runs an independent bookstore with a good selection of books that demonstrates his erudition to cute lit undergrads needing cash to purchase those books. One day, he invites a playwright to give a reading as part of her book launch. Everyone in the team was looking forward to meeting her, she went to the same university as they did, and on some level she represented what was possible for them. The bookstore owner, who was their boss, was always on the lookout for new writing, new voices.
One of the young lit undergrads who writes poetry and flash fiction was tasked to put together a cheeseboard and glasses of wine for guests. Earlier that day, she picked up cheese, grapes, nuts, crackers and kettle-cooked chips from the nice Cold Storage — the bookstore owner said it was on her way to work so if it was fine with her, could she do it before her shift, which means she wouldn’t be paid for it but she can feel free to pick up a snack for herself. The first platter emptied out quickly, the bookstore was crowded, and she felt a sense of satisfaction that she made the right selection. When it was only bits of rind and stray grapes left, she took the fancy oak board back into the tiny pantry in between the space cleared out for the reading and the store room. She balanced the board on the edge of the sink and began assembling a second platter.
She overhears a conversation between two Important Guests from an Arts Organisation discussing the Original Play by an Award Winning Playwright. She had heard about the play and was wondering if it was worth splurging on so she listened intently. “I thought the Original Play was well-deserving of the Prize, the Playwright made some bold choices that worked,” said the man with large red shoes.
“To be honest I thought it was too long, too many silences, but I suppose its a refreshing female perspective,” said the woman in a tight black halter dress towering over him. “Oh hi, Bookstore Owner, it’s been so long, good to see you!”
“Your glasses are empty! Let me get you a refill,” Bookstore Owner is good at making people feel at ease. He steps into the pantry and steps behind Lit Undergrad to grab another bottle of wine. The pantry is tiny so he tells himself that it is ok that his back is lightly scraping hers.
Lit Undergrad holds her breath and realises that the touch count she has been keeping with her best friend is now ten, which officially makes him a Creepy Man.
The end.